Calming the Perfect Storm
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Have you ever thought about what the definition of PERFECT is?
Websters says it means being entirely without fault or defect. But then it defines defect as a physical or intellectual imperfection. Obviously, this is tough thing to nail down. Yet, we spend our lives in a battle to create it.
And that fight goes much deeper than we even know. Most of us on an intellectual level have some insight into the fact that sometimes we are trying a little too hard at something. Maybe doing more than we need to. But the drive to be perfect lives under all kinds of other things that most of us are not connecting it to: procrastination is a big one, overwhelm and worry are a couple of others. All of that strife, when in reality there isn’t even a true definition of what perfect is.
And, of course, it is always in the eye of the beholder. There is a Japanese art form called Kintsugi in which pottery is intentionally shattered and put back together because the reconstructed piece is considered far superior. Such a wonderful analogy for the beauty of imperfection.
Think about the ALL of the things we’ve not done during the first half of our lives in fear of not doing them excellently, or because someone might see us make an attempt and fail. The fear of imperfection is SO great that we decide to accept defeat (over and over) before we even make an effort.
A coach once said to me, “What are you missing out on as a result of this need to be perfect”? WHOA. Felt a little like a punch in the chest. The answer is FAR TOO MUCH.
I know this character trait runs DEEP. It comes from the way we interpreted certain messages as a child, the standard that we saw others hold themselves to – or maybe NOT hold themselves to. And it’s a tricky one because we can almost hold it as a badge of honor.
This is why working on your thoughts and emotions is SUCH a beautiful thing. When you begin to ask yourself WHY a certain thought is in your mind (rather than accepting everything that pops in there), you slowly uncover the root causes of your emotions and behaviors. And the greatest gift of all is to become AWAKE to the fact that all of it can change!
How does the standard you hold for yourself feel in your body day to day? Is it moving your life forward in positive ways, or restricting your joy?
