Reframing

Do you know the reframe game?

The trees are aglow in the northern United States. But I sometimes almost miss it thinking about the dreary months ahead.

There are many ways we lose the present awaiting what’s to come. I did the same thing with Sunday afternoons for quite a while, dreading the start of another work week. These days, I am much more in-tuned to what my mind is doing and work fairly quickly to reframe. Although I’m not here to tell you that it has become automatic or is always sweet and easy. Just see my last week’s newsletter!

How to reframe? Find a neutral thought about the scenario. So instead of “Winter is going to be long and awful” it might be “Winter is going to give me time to focus on ____.”

Whatever it is. There is almost always a thought that is also true (you do have to believe what it is) and a little more enlightening. Then when the auto thought floats up, you recognize it and shift to the new, giving yourself the gift of a more positive emotion.

I’ve done this with my frustration in having to go downstairs from my office several times a day. I’d get aggravated that I’d forgotten yet another thing, but then made the shift to the thought that every trip is making me move my body - and that can never be a bad thing.

I know this sounds very elementary, but we really do have so much power to change our daily mindset. And learning to do this with small things strengthens your ability to do it in much more emotionally charged situations later.

Now let’s talk midlife: Do you want to believe that it means your best days are over or that life experience has molded you into a strong, smart, beautiful woman who is now going to find ways to share her gifts with the world?

 I know which I’m choosing.